A Festival in the Desert

Every year,
in the middle of the African desert, just outside of Timbuktu,
there’s a festival.

Thousands of people journey to experience a musical explosion of culture and magic.

I haven’t been to the festival. Not yet.
But I did see one of the bands that had performed;

And something happened that completely changed the way that I relate to reality, success and life…

Dancing Like A Persecuted Gypsy

Tucked in a tiny hidden treehouse-ish building in downtown Cape Town, a room ignited to a heightened level of existence; sparked by five nomadic tribesmen wearing the most outrageously glorious and elaborate outfits alive, their faces lit with makeup and sweat, and excitement for what was about to happen.

Warm Undiluted Magic – the musky kind.

The music sounds like tribal-trip-hop meets the motions of a desert camel doing a two-step to the sounds of triumphant desert sands, and instantaneously dissolves and transports you to a land of tents and bonfires and quests and dancing like a gypsy under the moonlight.

Mind-numbing Eargasm.

I got up and danced with about twenty others in the audience of a hundred plus while the rest of the room remained rigidly seated behind us.

A woman, seated in the audience, snarled angrily as we danced to and with the nomadic musicians, “you’re ruining the show stop making a fool of yourself and sit down!”

It wasn’t the symphony, formal and up it’s own aaa. No. It was raw feel-good feeling music, the kind you get up and unleash to, but rather than engage her, I sat down.

But she carried on. Hissing and rudely accosting the twenty-or-so people who danced in the front of the room.

She got heated. And more rude. And it escalated.

And it’s not that she was completely unjustified; it was a show and she couldn’t see since they were dancing in front of her – even though it was an informal, hearty gathering that has its roots in desert dances and unleashed jubilant celebration.

Maybe it was the raw simple beauty of the experience and the hypnotic trance-like bliss it inspired;
Or maybe it was something she said contrasting with the atmosphere;

But something clicked.

An insight that has completely changed the way I relate to reality, success and life…

You Bluddy Hypocrite

The woman,
and the rudeness,
and the confrontation,

…it felt so… pointless. And trivial. And destructive. And yuck.

The woman was getting really worked up, visibly angry and on edge – a sharp contrast to the care-free rhythms that danced in the dance of the dancers and in the expressions and souls of the musicians and others in the audience who let go and dissolved into the experience of the night.

It was so clear: visibly angry, she was causing herself to feel yuck and bleh and sour instead of enjoying one of the most beautiful experiences and atmospheres I’ve ever felt.

Like she had climbed into a cave of anger and waited at its entrance, half tucked in for defensive protection and half leaning out, looking for someone to throw a cup of bubbling acid at.

But more than anything, it was like she was completely numb to the amazingness of the experience, to the aliveness that was pulsing through the room.

Seemed like she was living on a completely different planet, buzzing at a different frequency, just wanting to bring people down and enforce her position to make herself feel special and better than everyone else.

And more than that, she didn’t seem alive.
She seemed troubled. And tense and trapped and closed and… sad.

The first thing that flashed into my mind as I observed how unhappy she seemed and how destructive she was being was how I didn’t want to be anything like her and how she was being a fire breathing dragon savage beast of doom and should just leave and die.

Then Boom! A flash of numbing insight…

You Are Not The Enemy

My face dropped. Well. I couldn’t see it drop. Duh. But I’m pretty damn sure it dropped.

I was instantly overcome with a striking insight that stripped away the complexity of countless self help books and hours spent contemplating personal development and spirituality and becoming awesome and unleashed.

I was no different than she was.

Getting caught up in wanting to attack her about being such a savage bitch and judging and feeling angst towards her, I was being just like she was, getting worked up and angry and living in the idea of limitation, like I need to protect myself and live with a cut-throat, a “there is not enough so I’m taking hers and keeping mine” attitude.

And the buzz went away. The magical warm feeling of bliss that the atmosphere had instilled evaporated the second I started mentally attacking her.

It was one of those moments, nahmean?
One of those moments where you smile at the funny ways in which you think and behave.

Not just at the way I was reacting. Nope.
I realised that I get engaged in this kind of thing ALL THE TIME.

Destructive judgemental selfish hostile yuck thoughts.

Not only at other people. But at myself too.

Bringing myself down just like I wanted to bring other people down. Living like I need to beat everybody else and take as much as I can and protect what I have, limitation mindset, violent and destructive, coming from a place where there isn’t enough so I’ll selfishly take what I can by screwing everyone over.

Selfish, destructive, separation-based bleh thinking.

And not only did it make me feel bad.
Like that woman’s attitude and anger was making her feel bad.

But that one destructive thought determined the whole way that I viewed and interacted with reality.

Allovasudden everything – the way you think, feel, live – is all tinted in destructiveness.

It smacked my overall state to the floor.
Like turning down the volume on life to a lower level of existence.

Living in a destructive mode, you’re limiting and greatly diminishing your experience of life.

Not only does it feel yuck and limits your experience of the awesomeness that is real life right now, but it also means that everything you do is tainted in limitation and scarcity because that’s your whole world when you’re living in that destructive space.

You procrastinate because you feel there isn’t enough. You don’t do what will make your life great because you don’t feel that you deserve it or that it’s possible. You believe you have a whole bunch of problems and look for evidence to prove it to yourself. And then live in scarcity and suffering as though it’s real.

And it sucks.

Becoming Superhuman

But knowing that, just knowing it – changes everything.

In that split second as somebody does something that would ordinarily make you mutate into a destructive demonic savage, where you morph into angry “me versus them” mode, and begin to engage all that limited bleh, you can choose.

Although you can’t control other people, you can decide to not engage it, to not allow yourself to be drawn into a destructive level of existence.

And that was it, the starkly simple realisation that changed everything.

There are two ways to live: Destructively or Constructively.

You can either live in a way that limits and stops and fights and opposes life.
Or you can live constructively, living in the flow that moves life toward positive abundance.

No matter what happens, you can always choose to be constructive or destructive.

Live in the flow, or try to control and force the flow by seeing life as you versus everything instead of you and everything, moving together towards wherever the universe is moving.

You can feel it.
You can feel it – that meh feeling of tension that overcomes you when you’re being destructive and limiting the flow of life.

It kinda feels like it might help you. The control feels good. Feels safe. So we do it.
But it actually blocks the flow of life and leads you to limitation and problems.

Being destructive is like standing in a river, trying to push the flow. All that happens is you block the flow and create resistance to the inevitable perfection towards which life is ALWAYS moving.

Constructive living is completely different.

And it’s the piece that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, the happy from the troubled, the free from the trapped, the limited from the limitless.

Being constructive is always allowing life to flow towards inevitable positivity and bliss.

Choosing to love what is being experienced right now, choosing to be open and released in your whole existence, allowing ease – that is what being constructive is.

And that is what leads to success, abundance, happiness, peace, joy, life.

A magical superhuman level of existence.

Be Constructive.
Become superhuman.

Unleash Reality
Alex

And by the way; big things soon. Free, quick & makes you cool: you should subscribe.

68 Comments

  1. Jen

    Heya Alex! I’ve missed u and ur awesome, crazily inspiring posts! :) this is a great article, felt like I was there too but also a great message. It takes something to buffer against others negativity and not become the same by judging it. Something I’m working on too :) . Thanks. For the inspirationm Jen

    • Hey Jen Dearest!!! :D

      awww. i missed you too. lots and lots. like jelly tots. haha.

      so glad it felt like you were there. really tried to remix the descriptive and the logical.

      keep well and in touch!
      a

  2. Kam

    In that split second as somebody does something that would ordinarily make you mutate into a destructive demonic savage, where you morph into angry “me versus them” mode, and begin to engage all that limited bleh, you can choose.

    I think the comes a point when you just have this inner peace and calm and you are so right – you know you have chosen to be still and not engage in a battle not worth fighting – its a blessed feeling not to be sucked into stuff … I think Im just starting to get this detachment concept:)

    ps: Thank you for sharing and taking the time to do this – you rock!!!!

    • Kammy!!!

      yeah. def think there comes a point where you choose inner calm and life instaed of yuck worries and problems and trouble and meh.

      often, people need something really bad to happen to snap them out of all the muck and destructive patterns and habits, but you don’t Need something like that to happen. you can just notice how pointless and damaging it is and make something great out of your life.

      choose it now instead of waiting for it to choose you.

      detachment… hmmm. interesting idea. it’s a big word and sounds cool so it’s thrown around a lot and yeah, detachment from negativity and yuck – nonattachment in the sense that you know you don’t need to cling to anything because you know your limitless true nature – but detachment has some bleh connotations to me. just seems dull and bland. hyper-nonattachment sounds way cooler. it’s not that experience gets boring, it gets amplified. you don’t become removed and ‘detached’, you become immersed in life itself :)

      you rock more kamantha :) haha
      keep well chick
      a

  3. Sounds like quite the experience! Everyone has their own path and a right to take that path, right?

    Good for you for accepting that your view of the world is different but no more or less credible. Tough thing to remember.

    • Hey Kristin :)

      yeah. was an insane experience. can’t wait to create adventures at the actual festival in the desert – busy hustling to get there for the 2010 festival. going to be unforgettable.

      …and yeah, def agree that everybody has their own path and a right to take that path. but that’s what i’m talking about. being constructive and allowing life to flow is moving along that path – being destructive and hurtful and trying to force that flow by seeing life as limitation; that is what leads you down negative paths instead of inevitable glory :)

      interesting comment :)

      keep well and in touch kristin
      a

    • during their fun, amazing, stuninng, phenomenal and every other descriptive adjective in the book engagement session. we always end-up chatting about the wedding details, but when alex was describing her vision, i

  4. Nice post Alex. No doubt that this superhuman capability is something we all possess. The festival sounds much like Burning Man, something we have here in the United States.

    • Hey srini you legend!!

      yeah, festival seems loads like burning man. saw some crazy cool pics of burning man while i was looking into the festival in the desert. looks like something you’d dig. no surf but seems like your vibe – mine too :) – you been to burning man?

      and yeah. superhuman magic is in everywon :)

      hope all’s well mate.

      summer is coming. surftime. glorious.
      a

  5. Sounds like a surreal experience. What a cool time and way to have an epiphany. :)

    • Hey Gordie!

      yeah. was crazy surreal. completely different realm of existence.

      haha

      keep well mate.
      a

  6. Alex!
    Glad to see you’re back!
    Post more regularly, at least once a week! :)

    As for the mentally attacking thing, I do that too and don’t like it, it’s like stopping to the other person’s low level, it’s better to just ignore them and refuse to accept their insults as Buddah says :)

    Have an awesome day!
    D

    • Diggy deluxe!!

      yeah. good to be back man. was completely consumed with university stuff but full back in the flow. more than just being busy, i had lost momentum and built up a whole lot of pressure around how the article had to be amazing and all that.

      did some EFT on it actually. worked a treat. bring your externalHD tonight and i’ll hook some up. magic awwwwsomeness. like ecky on crack.

      we all do it man. it’s yuck but it’s something we can stop. and that’s super liberating.

      buddha is my homie. you met him on the deck that night. full responsible for the pull. haha. legend status.

      tearin it up tonight.
      get some rest. gonna.be.legend.
      a

  7. i would like to attend

    • this is either the coolest or the weirdest comment i’ve ever seen. maybe both :)

      haha.

      i would like to attend too :P

  8. Hey Alex, I thought I had already commented on this. Shames on me. Anyways you made me curious about that party in the desert, can you tell me more?

    • well basically it’s a massive party in the middle of nowhere :)

      http://www.festival-au-desert.org/

      chchcheck it. maybe i’ll see you there. planning on hitting it up in twenty10 :)

      • It would be awesome, who knows, maybe we can make it

        • yeah. would be maaaaad awesome.

          we’d have the craziest adventure man. magical music. fireside dancing under the stars with gorgeous french tourist girls (first thing that comes to mind actually. dunno why french, just like the idea haha :) ) …it’d be insanely amazing.

          haul ass on your affiliate goodies. the whole cost is like what glen makes in a day haha.

          keep well mate.
          and yeah, maybe i’ll see ya there :P
          a

  9. Hey Alex, Great post!

    There are people (sometimes me) that can get angry and upset in even the most splendid of occasions. Others, can remain happy and jovial in downright unpleasant situations.

    It is not the situation that makes us happy or not, it is how we react to it. I can see myself, trying to look for someone to upset me. “Who is going to be the next to cut me off in traffic?” “Who is the next person to smoke in a non-smoking area?”

    Some people go out looking for something to complain about, just like that irate lady you encountered.

    It is sometimes difficult to acknowledge that I and I alone am in control of my thoughts and feelings, or NOT! I choose to live constructively!

    • Hey John you legend!!

      awwwsome to see you ’round these parts :)

      completely know where you’re coming from. i also get angry and worked up an meh in the stupidest situations, at the stupidest things (sometimes at the stupidest people, but sometimes just me projecting haha)

      “It is not the situation that makes us happy or not, it is how we react to it.”
      - completely. really really well put. kinda halfway through an article about happiness and our criteria for how we feel.

      and i also know what you’re saying about actively looking for trouble to cause – and things to complain about.

      but as soon as you catch yourself, you can choose to live life instead of your edited interpretation of it as a place with all these problems. and after a while you won’t get caught up in it all.

      there are also ample other things to try that get to the cause of it – the reason you feel so bleh and destructive sometimes – and work on those. i’ll be rapping about that soon :)

      haha

      keep well and in touch mate.
      have a rocken weekend
      a

  10. Thanks for sharing that experience and epiphany. Funny thing is, as much as I’ve gotten myself to a place of realization this year, just this morning I found myself being destructive again, mentally – towards me and others. It’s a moment by moment choice – and it takes time and practice to become more and more self-aware to where you can consciously choose every moment and not get sucked in by the negativity of destructive thinking.

    Keep up the great writing.

    • Hey Markus!!

      just because you know it’s destructive and a bad idea dudddn’t mean you never do it again. sometimes, just sometimes, it takes a lil time to kill a lifetime’s worth of bad habits. just sometimes ;)

      but realising that it’s a bad thing is what gets you on the path towards no longer being destructive and bleh and getting in your own way. then you’ll realise how it’s a million times better to be real and constructive – just practically, you get more success and life is more awesome – and then you’ll wanna be like that all the time.

      just convincing yourself it’s possible and that life can be better – that’s the first and most important part. sure, you might slip up and go back into that mode a lil here and there but knowing that change is possible – that’s what’s important.

      thanks for stopping by man. your site is really inspiring so it’s great to get your input.

      keep well and come back soon :)
      a

  11. Hi Alex,

    This is a very interesting and inspiring post … I love your way with words! :) You’re definitely right about that tense feeling that comes when you start thinking destructively. And if you keep thinking that way, that tense feeling is there 24/7 … until you can’t consciously feel it anymore … but it’s still there. I wonder if that’s why so many people are physically in pain all the time and are always fatigued. Do we really need all those anxietry and insomnia pills?

    Growing up I was definitely living destructively. Angry at everyone, worrying about everything, and playing the victim everyday. And I was always tired. “Tired of what?” people used to ask me, but I couldn’t even answer them. Finally I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I felt like a huge weight fell off my back after that. It really takes much more effort being destructive.

    PS – I need to go to this desert party … I never heard anything like it.

    • Hey Valerie!!

      such an awwwwwsome comment :) warm tingly bright coloured feelings ensue haha.

      that’s how most people live. tense agitated bleh. like a wounded kitten all snappy and scared.

      funny you say that’s how it felt growing up. me too, was always tired and blurry. it was all the fighting and angry destructive “i’m better” – along with really unhealthy food and an overall environment of “you’re only good enough if you have rocking abs and play rugby” (all boys boarding school hahaha :) some amazing memories but the conventional idea of ‘cool’ really messed me and other people up for a while)

      desert party gonna be crazy. got quite a few peeps really game to go. it’s in march 2010. thousands of people go.

      http://www.festival-au-desert.org/ also search flickr for pics.

      looks mad cool and, as i said, the music is indescribably glorious irreversably smoldouring magic.

      keep well and in touch valerie dearest :)
      a

  12. Hi Alex! Wow, sounds like an amazing event, and you’ve captured and relayed it beautifully.

    I met the woman in the dessert yesterday on the subway, but she was a man. Angry that the subway car doors opened at his stop to find we were packed in there like sardines, and he couldn’t get on. He was tall and stuck his head in above everyone and kept yelling “Can you people move in? Can you pople MOVE IN?!” But thing was, we couldn’t. We were stuck there, jam-packed, with barely room to breathe. I’ve been on the subway before when this overcrowding annoys people, but in this rail car yesterday everyone was just dealing with it. Going with the flow, being mushed together. It was peaceful in there despite that the car was probably at triple capacity or more. His anger didn’t move anyone, and no one reacted. And he couldn’t get on.

    The people in that rail car to me were maybe in the same state as the people dancing. Going with life at the moment. Though getting up dancing is so much more wild and fun, it was pretty much the same thing. It seemed like everyone in the train was centered, letting themselves be with the experience. The angry man had no effect on anyone at all, and no one got off centered. When he finally poked his out and let the doors close, no one even mentioned him or spoke of how rude and intimidating he was trying to be. No one judged him.

    So maybe constructive living has a lot to do with keeping centered and releasing all the “conditions” we apply toward being able to enjoy or deal with the present moment. You realized and released your condition that everyone go with the flow and that this woman would just shut up. Maybe the destructive living is two fold: our conditions destroy our own ability to be centered, and they also lead us to make judgements about things and people around us. These judgements just take us further away from the experience of the moment while also reinforcing the conditions we place on life and events in the first place.

    Well, those are my thoughts… I think I created a new post right here on your blog!

    I did enjoy reading this, and I really like the way you think.

    I’ll be poking around more here, so I’m glad you got in touch!

    Cheers,
    Miche

    • Hey Miche :)

      such a mad warm value-adding wow comment :D

      can so clearly picture that guy on the train. love the way you describe a peaceful mushedness on the train. i used to take the bus to university and it’s packed like the train you described but everybody is peacefully content about it. they move in and compromise. most of the time. sometimes the guy you described comes along and gets angsty but the rage just gets muffled by the overwhelming sense of unreactiveness and peace in the others on the bus.

      def agree that the people who dealt with it calmly and remained centred were going with life at the moment. like the people dancing, they saw how completely trivial it was. they’ve been on the train so many times before that they realise how pointless and agitating to both themselves and everyone else it is to complain and get worked up by it. and then that they didn’t mention it just emphasises the completely different place they’re coming from compared to the angry head-poking rude guy. it’s a completely different mode of existence.

      such a good point that “constructive living has a lot to do with keeping centred and releasing all the “conditions” we apply toward being able to enjoy or deal with the present moment”. was talking to a good friend about this earlier. the criteria that we have for being happy and feeling a certain way. the example we used was writing a test at university. leading up to it you’re tense and anxious and bleh and uncentred and once it’s done you’re elated. nothing has actually changed, and yet you go from bleh to buzzing the second you step outside of the test venue. it’s that you’re criteria for feeling released and happy and free is that you’re not writing a test etc. busy working on a post around this idea. super excited. you’ll dig it proper ;)

      so cool to see you ’round these parts :) specially given the extreme awesomeness of your site :)

      Keep well and in touch miche dearest :P
      a

  13. I had a moment like that at the Giant Pumpkin Regatta. This one guy kept barking at anyone that sat in front of him, down at the water’s edge, “HEY! I’ve been sitting here for an HOUR to get this spot! You’re blocking my view!” And I thought, “What in the world is wrong with THIS guy… he is so not in the right spirit for this.” But then I stopped thinking about him altogether because I didn’t want him to ruin MY experience of the regatta (and my birthday).

    By the way, the whole post is awesome, but THIS is my super fave:

    “Being destructive is like standing in a river, trying to push the flow. All that happens is you block the flow and create resistance to the inevitable perfection towards which life is ALWAYS moving.”

    Sweeeeeeeet!

    • Leeeee ceeeeease dearest!!

      missdcha :)

      Giant Pumpkin Regatta? you can’t say something like that and not elaborate. what the fffff is a “giant pumpkin regatta”?! :D

      Yeah. That’s the exact thing i’m talking about. that regatta guy. the guy on the subway who gets angry about getting in. the woman who antagonised the dancer. they’re everywhere. even within us sometimes but we can choose, like you did, to not ruin OUR experience.

      didn’t know was ya birthday?!?! happy happppppy!!

      funny how you’re invincible on your birthday. a guy like this can come along and have NO effect whatsoever whereas might have exploded and bitten his head off on another day. why is that? sure, it’s our birthday so we’re in the best mood evar. but there’s something interesting going on there. how we allow ourselves to be in a certain space given criteria. like, “oi it’s my birthday so i’m gonna be unshakably happy”. that criterian for happiness. like how some people need to be in a certain job or wa’eva in order to feel happy. hmmmm.

      :)

      hope all’s well lisis boo :P
      a

  14. hey.

    yeah you know what I think but I thought I’d just comment anyways…

    I think this is an excellent post with a really captivating feel to the writing. The message in the end is very profound, and yet very, very simple.

    One of the things that i have been applying to my life, and my mind, is always being aware of my style of thinking. In other words… although i sometimes still get caught up in negative and destructive thinking -I am aware of it- and often do my best to frame those thoughts in a positive way, or try to look for the light. I think that is the first step to being constructive… : realizing that you make a choice… That there are two paths to take, not one.

    Besides just being aware of thoughts there is also something to be said about being PROACTIVE. Doing positive activities will help you gain a positive attitude, and as a result you will welcome even more positive things into your life.

    peace!

    • Mikey G alraight… in the place to BE alraight…

      yeah yeah yeah.

      you were the first won to read this actually :)

      really glad you liked it. and it made sense. that’s usually my measure of whether it makes sense or not – if you get it :P haha

      glad the writing had that effect – def what i was going for. balance between logic power content and magical descriptive “transport you to a land of light” type right brainyness.

      the way you’re dealing with it is perfect. sure, sometimes you’ll get caught up in destructive negativity but it doesn’t have to control the way you live – and as you deal with it when it comes up, it starts to come up less and less and your life gets better.

      awwwsome comment. might be game for backpacker lordage tonight. i’ll see how much i get done.

      saw alex 3 last night btw. was super funny :)

      keep it real yo :)
      a

  15. Alex~
    You have the chops.
    You have a way of making a grocery store shopping trip sound zazzling, fireworky, and down right zaphy!

    Awesome read! Your experience reminds me of similar experiences of my own, having worn both shoes (yours and hers). Great you can see the real side of things and re-correct. Inspire. Move ahead.

    Keep on keeping on and I’ll be back next time twizzle sticks and sparkling tonic.

    Love you site!
    Dig it!
    ~xo

    • Lori~ dearest :)

      you are the chops. big glorious smooth irreversible chops. of glory. from beyond time. deluxe. :P

      such an amazing compliment. warm tingly feelings. awwww shuxx.

      twizzle sticks and sparkling tonic it is ;)

      chchcheck back soon. fresh magic next week. supr fvckn exctd :)

      keep well lori boo
      a

  16. Alex, you nailed it with this post. I absolutely loved it.

    “Although you can’t control other people, you can decide to not engage it, to not allow yourself to be drawn into a destructive level of existence.”

    Absolutely. I had the same experience as Valerie. I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    Keep it going.

    • Stephen!!!

      really cool to hear from you. been way too long. back in full momentum so fresh stuff soon. really like the way your site has been going – full raw fresh content. really inspiring to see.

      “finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired”
      - haha. really digg the way you put that :)

      keep well mate
      a

  17. Hey Alex.

    Good call with this message. Working constructively fits in line with my thinking, and cutting out destructive items has been what I have been doing soon after I came to identify them. Sometimes it is hard to see what is destructive until some analysis is done and it is identified.

    Being constructive keeps us in a path we don’t regret.

    Thanks for this.

    • Hey Armen!

      So glad you liked it. your stuff is always mad on point so really cool to hear your input…

      def difficult to notice and be aware of the destructiveness sometimes. part of the overall energy of it is that you think that you’re right and justified so of course you don’t see it as destructive or negative. i think it was plato who said that nobody ever willingly does evil towards others. they think that what they’re doing is right.

      have a mad cool weekend mate
      a

  18. A crazy African tribal-trip-hop music festival outside Timbuktu? Alright I’m in, where do I sign?

    • haha yeah you’d dig it proper :)

      fireside adventures in the desert, girls from all over the place, unforgettable times :)

      i’m seriously considering it. it’s in march 2010. thousands of people gonna be there cos it’s the tenth anniversary.

      http://www.festival-au-desert.org/ :D

  19. Definitely good insight. Its so easy to forget that separation is an illusion. Thank you for the little reminder.

    • Hey Justin.

      crazy easy to get caught up in it. you and 7 billion other people on the planet. but you don’t have to live like that all the time and little changes lead to big change.

      keep well mate
      a

  20. Hey Alex,

    We can’t control others, only ourselves. If we steer us in a constructive direction, life will be awesome.

    We can’t help how others will act. Some people will have their own logic to things, and if we try and forcibly change them we’ll either a) go crazy, or b) bring ourselves down with their negative energy.

    Instead, by maintaining our own positive energy, and being completely okay with others having their own energy (rather than thinking everyone should be this certain way), we go through the day feeling happy and awesome. Any negative energy from others becomes external objects.

    Thanks for sharing your story – I had similar experiences. I dig how you explored feeling no better than the crabby woman and that being a click moment for you.

    Interested to see your upcoming big things,
    Oleg

    • Hey Oleg!!

      completely agree that we can’t control others, only ourselves. actually, not sure if we can even control ourselves now that i think ’bout it :) haha.

      interesting thought: we can’t even feel others trying to control us, only our trying to control them back. think about a homeless person or somebody who doesn’t even enter your realtiy – you don’t feel controlled by them because you don’t see them as influential in your experience. wheras your boss or somebody you place a lot of value in will make you feel very controlled. but you don’t feel their control, only you wanting to control them back :) busy working on an article about it. would digg your thoughts when it’s done :D

      empathy. i think that’s what it comes down to. being okay with others and seeing the good in them – seeing yourself in their eyes – i think that’s the way out. realising that being destructive towards them is really being destructive towards yourself.

      big things. soon. gonna dig it proper :)
      keep well and in touch mate
      a

  21. Question…
    with reference to your analogy ‘ dancing like a persecuted gypsy’ … would you mind enlightening- what exactly does a persecuted gypsy look like… what about one almost persecuted? Have you ever seen this supposed phenomenon? or are you just using your poetic license to allow u to make such comparisons?

    I am rather astonished at the number of comma splice errors you made in this article- no brownie points. brownie points for article on the whole though…:)

    a-town

    • pffft. you’re way too much of a claremont girl to know what a persecuted gypsy looks like. i have danced with many a persecuted gypsy. they dance like magic, i’ll show ya :)

      your mom is a comma splice error. bizatch. what now feee fee. oh that’s cold.

  22. Your post reminded me of this video: http://www.beyond-karma.com/beyond/zen-living-the-hundredth-monkey-and-the-third-guy/

    Watch what happens at the one minute mark.

    I love the message in your article that we can choose to simply not create any more negativity, or as you say, destructiveness, for ourselves. Flow is much easier than resistance.

    Thanks Alex!

    • hahahaha

      man. would love to watch that vid – just to see what you actual look like (i’m thinking orange hare krishna look given your full zennesssssss but stereotypes suck and you’re prolly actually something of a badass gang-starr :P ) ….but internet in south africa is terrible and ripping it up at an internet cafe so i’ll only chchcheck it out when i hit up some better internet connection.

      so glad you liked the article. was looking forward to hearing your input given our similar takes on things :)

      keep well mate
      a

  23. Hey Alex,
    Great post and so true aboiut how we treat other people, or having to control others. We MUST be happy with who we are…not that we’re all going to be perfect. Perfection does not create happiness. It’s self fulfilling. And if we can fulfill and satisfy the Utilities of ourselves, then we can treat others well and feel super human!

    Thanks for sharing,
    Keith

    • Hey Keith!!

      such great input. digg how you always put it in simple terms. i always add mad crazy adjectives and fluff it up but you always drill it down to pure content. awwwsome skill.

      “perfection does not create happiness”
      - man. really interesting thing to think about… def self-fulfilling but can’t decide whether perfection creates flow and life and magic or IS flow and life and magic. that’s why language is so meh – too limited.

      and BE superhuman ;)

      haha

  24. Wow, great post Alex :)
    I definitely know what you mean, we often get lost criticizing others for being irrational forgetting WE are not enjoying the moment because of these thoughts.
    I loved this:
    ¨No matter what happens, you can always choose to be constructive or destructive.¨
    Later, Im off to become superhuman so I can join in the awesomenesss :D

    • Rosa boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

      where the fvck you been chicka?!?!

      so bummed there’s no more rosa glory being unleashed on the masses. let me know if you need some help getting it back up eh.. for you – the world :P

      you’re already superhuman.

      bah-chingggg :)

  25. alex u legend its gr8. patric.

    • patric u legend itz reli cul tht u chkt out ma site m8 its gr8

      haha :)

      legend.

  26. What a wonderful post! I loved this.

    This is what stood out to me the most…

    “Live in the flow, or try to control and force the flow by seeing life as you versus everything instead of you and everything, moving together towards wherever the universe is moving.”

    YES!

    Thank you for this post!
    Dayne

  27. Alex,

    A great, big me too!

    And then I try to remember that we are all connected and my thoughts and actions affect others as well as myself.

    If you’ve not read Power Versus Force, you owe it to yourself to do so. Changed me life it did, dancin’ man.

    Cheers

    George

  28. Alex I loved this post!

    Heres a quote I thought you would enjoy :)

    “Never judge someone till you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, cause then you’re a mile away and you’ve got their shoes.”

    To the topic at hand, to me this was post a real eye-opener. Like so many people commenting before me, I too have identified points in my life where my thinking has become destructive. In this day and age it seems like destructive thinking is the default setting with so many people, and the constructive, positive mindset is often what distinguishes them from those that are successful. The times where you identify when your mindset and thinking becomes destructive, it is at these moments that give us the opportunity whether or not to change.

    Thank you for this inspiring post! Can’t wait to hear more from you.

  29. great post :) …with a great insight for everyone to take in…people really are mirrors of ourselves…you just have to have the awareness to be able to see…once you are consciously aware of something you can drop it…it only existed because a lack of awareness….keep up the great work…very engaging read…

  30. Alex, I enjoyed that post, thanks for sharing the story, amazing the simple things can be the most effective.

    • Hey Jon!!

      cool to have you back :)

      you’re gonna love what’s coming next if you liked this won :)

      keep well mate
      a

  31. Yo man..

    Seriously, Love your writing.. who is this Alex fellow?

    Peace man

  32. So, I arrived back from London a couple of weeks ago. I had been studying Dramatic Art at a good school and I felt privelliged, I walked away from the “I am bigger then you” feeling a while ago but still on the path to ‘reality’ truthfulness. In drama school the main point was, “You must know yourself before you can know and fully understand a caracter” In the past two years I have read books, listened to what people had to say and taken in as much as possible. I have been on an incredible adventure of self discorvery and im 20.. What a sence, what a feeling, what a pleasure! Now, dont get me wrong.. the story above has occured in my life from time to time but as you used to know me, things have changed.
    I wanted to tell a little story, something I am not proud of but it happened and after so long I slipt up. Yes, we human we make mistakes but certain actions must be accounted for. So, when I arrived back to SA (JHB) I moved in with my father, got a job and that was my focus, work and no play (saving for CT). Now, my father is a great man, but he has a temper on him like no other!! every time he got angry (at the person driving in front of him, the “shog” who didn’t serve him correctly or just the continious complaint of “How ridiculious is the price of fruit these days”)I would turn around and try correct his thinking. Point him in the right direction and allow him to flow.
    One day when I was fixing my phone at MTN I was sent here and there, here and there.. no one could give me an answer, when I got to the last desk I was ignored and the person helping me was chatting away with one of his collegues. I SNAPPED, words were exchanged and I dont feel proud, I had seen my father come into the store behind me and I didn’t stop what I was doing because I thought instictively “he would be proud”, that was my instinctive thought “he would be proud”. As soon as I left the store I wanted to puke! I felt sick of my actions and it wasn’t a nice feeling. I still need to go back and appologize.
    The moral to this is two things, yes, we human, we do make mistakes. and two, don’t be someone you not, dont try please the world and disregard your actions.

    Peace dude, thanx

  33. Hey mate, love this post – this is one of the rare posts I enjoyed so much I even read the comments (well, power-read). I heard a quote once – “the universe waits with bated breath at every instant, every decision you make – will you choose compassion and peace, or will you choose the non-integrous?”

    OK I admit it I completely forgot the words but the gist of it is there ;) Thanks for the reminder and fascinating read mate!

    • albert you legend little ninja you :)

      supremo glad you liked it. means a lot. specially if you liked it so much as to read the comments :) warm tingly feelings :P

      really liked your quote. i enjoyed it so much i even read the comments :P i mean, enjoyed it so much i even wrote it down :)

      thanks for stopping by.

      check back soon. next post is gon be supremo magic smoldouring deluxe :)

      keep well mate
      a

  34. Hi Alex, just came across your blog when I saw the logo on The Life Thing.

    Great post and what is that festival you’re talking about? It’s sounds amazing! I got to add it to my Bucket List :) !

  35. great post :) …with a great insight for everyone to take in…people really are mirrors of ourselves…you just have to have the awareness to be able to see…once you are consciously aware of something you can drop it…it only existed because a lack of awareness….keep up the great work…very engaging read…

  36. Thank you. Your articles are wonderful, insightful, and well written. I appreciate what you!

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