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Sound-Bite Sized Self-Help
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This one might be a little controversial…
It’s a cautionary tale of sorts…
…about Self-Help. Personal Development. Ah funny stuff.
I have nothing but love for the whole “personal development industry” and nothing but love and respect for anybody that tries to improve their lives. I really really mean that.
I’ve been in this for a while – the whole “self-improvement” thing – and it’s helped me more than I can say.
I’ve read stacks of books, watched lists of movies and done a whole lot of courses. From all angles – from traditional “Anthony Robbins” style ‘go get ‘em’ type of thing to full consciousness eastern teachings, and everything on the way. I’ve even been to India and sat cross-legged in dark caves with nomadic Brahmin who wear only orange and don’t cut their hair.
And I got caught up in the whole thing… the whole idea of self-improvement.
It’s easy to get distracted by the lights, the catchy quotes and the annoyingly chipper guru types.
I would study it for hours. I’d read and read and nothing would change. I sounded smarter but I felt worse.
I caught myself slicing reality into sound-bite sized chewable chunks – looks good, like plastic fruit, but it tastes like plastic fruit too.
It’s easy to sound all self-helped. It’s easy to sound “free” and at peace.
Thing is, it’s easy to distract yourself by reading a whole bunch of stuff. By learning prophetic quotes and telling your friends about how enlightened you are and tweeting the words of dead philosophers. That’s easy. It has its place but it can easily become another layering of things you need to work out and do before you can actually improve your life.
The question is: are you doing this – reading all this personal development stuff, leaving clever comments and posting endlessly – are you doing all this just to distract yourself from what’s real and actually doing something about your life and facing whatever you want to change about your life?
Because it’s really easy to get caught up in the whole thing. It’s easy to embark on a journey of self-improvement when you’re really just running away from your problems.
Don’t get me wrong, reading and learning and interacting is great.
All these quotes, deep articles and ebook seminar newsletter course things are great, but they’re just there to guide you, to point you inwards and help you to help yourself.
In the end it comes down to you.
You, sitting there, reading this. Yes… you. Listen up. Sit up straight and pay attention…
You don’t need anything.
You don’t need anything to be free, to be brilliant, to get things done, to be who you want to be.
All these things that you read and study and make detailed notes about in your computer, they’re all just there to help you see the amazingness that is within you. And take away all the rubbish that you’ve collected that hides the true you – rubbish collected from t.v., other people’s opinions, personal development sites, social conditioning, etc.
Ironic iddin’t it?
…you think you need something because most of the personal-development stuff out there is telling you that if you just do this one technique, or just buy this one product… that you’ll be free. But it’s actually distracting you from being free.
You don’t need anything to be you.
You just have to want freedom more than you want your problems, more than you want to be a “personal development guru”, more than you want to be caught up in the whole movie.
You don’t need this stuff, it’s nice and it can help point you in the right direction, but you don’t need it.
Stop looking at the signs, stop collecting more signs and look at where they’re pointing.
It’s all there – everything you’re looking for – it’s within you, right now. Stop looking for peace and freedom everywhere that it isn’t.
That which you are needs nothing.
It’s all within you.
Right now.
Alex
Unleash Reality
Note: Don’t get me wrong. Reading self-helpy stuff and learning from wow-gurus can be a great thing…and studying productivity can help you become productive, just so long as you don’t spend more time reading about these things than actually implementing them – and remember that in the end, that which you are needs nothing.
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Alex lives on the bottom tip of Africa where he rides lions into the sunset and raindances to the sound of the universe laughing...
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Nice post Alex. I think you’ve made some great points here. The Personal development movement can become very cult-like and people become seminar/information junkies. I”ve been guilty of it in the past. Ironically though, it’s when I started sharing my insights on my blog I’ve started getting more out of my efforts. I understand myself more, I am finding things I learned in the past that I completely forgot and I’m taking lots of action around things I want to do.
Thanks srinirao geee
completely cult like. with lamb-sacrifices, dark robes, incense and Tony Robbins book signings
i’m sure somewhere, there’s a rehab for info junkies
def been guilty of it myself too. all of us i guess. but we move past it… and i think moving past it is better than never having to had move past it – because the way that we’ve moved past it has made us grow.
…thanks for the comment bruv – guest post coming soon.
all the best
alex
I like the picture that goes with this
)Your sight is looking cool. Very impressed.
I get into this trap,A LOT.Instead of using the self help info to help me and actually improve my life I just add it to what is already there.It becomes a mask intead of a tool.
I think the important thing is that you’re aware and this stuff helps with that. Puts things in perspective but doesn’t neccesarily CHANGE things. That as you say has to come from you.
“I just add it to what is already there.It becomes a mask intead of a tool”
- SOOO true. love how you always drill it down to the key essence of what i’m talking about
…and spot on that awareness of this stuff is key. aware of it – and use it as a guide but don’t make it your holy grail or salvation. this stuff isn’t a panacea, it’s more like nitros on a souped up street-racer… helps give you a kick in the right direction :p
thanks for the comment. glad you like the pic mike
see you later – sheer lordage of fiction and the rest of the Cape Town night
alex
Great post man!
It’s kinda funny – when I was reading this I was thinking “OK, so what is it,” “If I’m not reading books or follow gurus…what should I do instead?”
I think that is a great example of what you are talking about, always looking for some external answers.
Good job
Glen-zo-all star deluxe!!
yeah, was a little two ways about this article, hoped it would stir some stuff up
glad it made sense
we’re always lookin’ for external answers i guess. not really looking if it’s not external
thanks for the comment… and the tweet, appreciate it bro.
again, here’s to lording the net
ali
Is funny to see how like-minded people find eachoter online. I’m finishing an 1000th for a dating forum which has as the main idea basically the same.
Good to see, I’m not the only one who values freedom.
hey ivan.
yip, funny how that happens. even funnier how people call it a “coincidence” – co…incidence :p yeah. coincidence, peh.
good to see, i’m not the only one who values freedom
keen to see your 1000th post
keep well bro
alex
Hi Alex.
This personal development article about not needing personal development articles has some refreshing qualities to it. It is the type of article that shows boldness, like a newspaper having an article about physical print newspapers going out of business, that actually keeps more people reading that newspaper for taking such a risk.
Hey Armen!!
Thanks for your honest, thought out comment. really appreciate it… much better than sound-bitten rehashed “well dones” you know
really like your site too. cool minimal design and pooower content. left a comment there.
here’s to online friendship
thanks again for the comment
all the best
alex
You’ve learned and posted on a very wise thing. We have to put what we learn into action, and realize that the whole thing is a process, not a “there, I’m done,” kind of thing.
I like the idea of progressing in bits
Karen Chaffee
Hey Karen!
Completely agree with you about it being a process, not a “there, i’m done” kind of thing. – great way of putting it btw.
the title of one of my favourite books, and one of my favourite quotes, “the journey is the destination”.
as always, thanks for the comment!
all the best
alex
Alex, exactly!
“Thing is, it’s easy to distract yourself by reading a whole bunch of stuff.”
For years I studied self-improvement. Thing was, I forgot to actually do anything.
Love your blog so keep the good stuff coming.
Hey Stephen
glad you said that. completely know how it feels.
your comment got thinking about a possible next article
will keep you posted, so to speak 
keep well man and thanks for the great comments, honest feedback and being involved.
talk to you soon
alex
Great post Alex! Honest and to the point, and probably the most useful thing I’ve read on the topic
Gray deluxe!!
Really good to hear… specially since we’re prolly the biggest information suckars evar
thanks for the comment bro, and well done on your site pythoughts.com – loving the functionality and the fact that you’re getting something done and out there
laters
alex
Haha! This is just great and straight to the point.
But I must say, self-improvement is more than inner peace and free, I think it’s something about productivity also and learning more stuff.
For the inner peace and freedom part, I have to agree with you, don’t read about it all the time, practise it!
Stefan!! Hey man, good to hear from you
definitely with you about it being about the spiritual inner stuff as well as the productivity stuff. and i definitely think that a modicum of reading is required, but riddle me this: is it productive to spend a whole lot of time reading about productivity?
thanks for the comment, as always… appreciate it!
keep well man
alex
Ah, I could have thought of this one to come!
No it isn’t productive at all of course
Thanks for this insight, which I forget all the time!
Stefan
Haha
funny thing is though: i do think it can be productive. can be very unproductive but can be productive – say learning one productivity technique might take and hour but save you 10 hours – so then it’s worth it
…but a lot of the time we spend 20 hours on the technique that saves 10 at most, and that’s what i’m saying we should watch out for 
The whole post actually, i think that reading self helpy stuff can help, and i know i’m a little bias against it in the post but it’s just to drive the point home.
keep well man
alex
Inspiring! I agree. It’s totally up to us to do whatever we want. Just like we can choose to be happy, we can choose to be free right?
Hey Rosalina!
Completely
…the problem comes in when people choose to be clever instead of free, and read and learn about self help instead of living it 
thanks for stopping by and commenting!
talk to you soon
keep well
alex
Hi Alex,
Well said. I think it is important for us to know why we are seeking what we are seeking. If it is distraction: what from? I do think though that others and their experiences (whether talking to a friend or reading a ‘guru’s’ book – I really don’t like the term “guru”) can help.
Hey Evan!!
great point that if it is a distraction, we must ask ourselves what from. knowing it’s a distraction is useless in and of itself – it’s actually probably a bad thing. like knowing your sick but not knowing anything more… probably more unsettling and destructive than anything else.
don’t like the guru word either. was making sport of the whole thing actually
…and i agree that it can help. definitely. glad you emphasised it – added a note to the end of the post about how i kinda over-emphasised not reading just to drive the point across. don’t think i’d convince the over-readers and information junkies out there to stop anyways so went for the more hardcore style to get the point across 
…i think reading and learning from others is a great thing. definitely wouldn’t be where i am without learning from others. but it’s not a panacea, it’s more like adding nitros to a street car. by itself it does nothing, but used properly and it gives you a powerful kick in the right direction
like your site. lava smooth design. your book sounds amazing!
tried to find your blog that you mentioned on the bottom of your page but couldn’t find it.
thanks for the comment
talk to you soon
alex
Awesome post and very true, pretending to be enlightened after reading things and being enlightened are two totally different things.
Remember David D in deep inner game saying it takes 2-4 years to get good at something, and then another 2-4 years to be really good.
The same with martial arts, business, sport or anything you do.
Skill takes time
Yo diggggggy!!
so true. we know our fair share of power enlightened people given the whole pooo-ah thing methinks
super game for this weekend. must create the legend and get some practise in for amsterdam
keep well bro
alex
sup Alex,
nice new posts, seems like your blog is getting some nice traffic and comments.
I agree with you about self help and that you need to put it into practice, it seemed strangely ironic coming from a self help post :p
haha David D eh? Sound’s like you fella’s are off for some sarging, you should blog about how it went :p
jackmo you legend!
thanks for the kind words.
making the legend ya know. hustlas. that’s how we roll
was that a little jackmo AMOG line? eh big guy? nice avatar, i had one just like that in high school. lol.
david d’s real name is eben pagan. i mean. come on.
Alex,
I can see where you are coming for. I know a lot of people who use the “feel good” factor in personal development to actually avoid developing personally. Ironic but quite common.
Hey Sunny!!
Completely agree. Like the way you put it. Funny creaturs us humans, iddin’t it?
just becomes another protective layer and they become a more clever-sounding version of their insecure, disturbed selves.
thanks for the comment
keep in touch
alex
I’ve only just started looking into some “self improvement” content, but I can already see the potential for the trap you talk about, because I think this is true in other walks of life, too. I find that sometimes I can get so excited about a “better” way of doing something, that I forget that the whole point of doing it is to make life better or easier.
Hey Evan!!
Interesting thing is that it applies to a lot of fields, definitely not just personal development.
good ol “those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say”… although i’m just being a little hard to drive the point home. I definitely think that there is benefit in reading about it and studying it and learning from others but it’s about balance and keeping in mind the real reason for doing something.
thanks for your comment!
keep well and in touch!
alex
Spot on!
This key also just happens to be the scariest road to go
down for most people…no guide ropes to hold on to. Or so it seems.
If the truth was complicated, everyone would understand it! Hahaha!
Your best post so far.
Wilding you champ!!
yeah… scariest only because they’ve made such a big deal about it. another splendid irony.
like the guide rope analogy. seems like they make their entire thing about the guide ropes and forget what they were for – training wheels.
haha
thanks for the comment bro
keep well and must jam soon
alex
p.s. still wanna get the interviews we did a while back. hennytime
Any kind of new subject I want to learn, I usually first ask 3 people I respect that already know a great deal about the subject, find out what they all agree on in terms of the next learning step and read ONLY that. Sometimes reading less is better than more, especially if you’re reading the right things.
Defffff agree on your approach.
coming to think about it, i usually do the same – but happens by default because i usually check something out based on a friend’s recommendation and they already done it so i ask them what to check out initially.
less can def be more. i think it’s about not getting distracted as to why you’re doing it.
keep well man
alex
Wow, Alex… I loved the post, and also have enjoyed reading through the comments. I believe you’ve tapped into something very important with this post.
You already know how I feel about Personal Development, so I’ll just say I completely agree! I thought this was brilliant!
I love the energy on your blog!!
Lisis
Hey Lisis!!
So great to read your comments always!! So positive, real and value-offering – what personal development needs more of to make it less something to learn and more something to enhance…
thanks for all the kind words
appreciate it
keep well
alex
Hey Alex! This is the first time I’m at your blog (clicked over from Stephen’s latest post) and I’m impressed. You hit the nail on the head when you talk about people reading self help more than they are actually implementing them. I can’t agree more there. I’ve bookmarked your blog and will visit regularly from now on – You got a new regular visitor!
Hey Celes!!
really glad you like it. really love your site and work so cool to have you around!
keep well and in touch
alex
One of my favorite posts ever.
you are hero
You are sooooo right.
It was like alcoholism. I drowned myself in books and seminars to avoid the harsh realities of life. I thought I was growing, but I was not. Real growth comes from taking on and over-coming challenges in life, not drowning myself in books. I should have known better.
Thanks for the reminder!
Hey Charles,
yezzir. it’s a common trap to fall into. trap-door is more like it i s’pose, given it’s self-operated nature
really dugg your entertainment bloggers post. cool site all round ya got there
keep well and in touch
alex
Highly successful people know the key to their success is to find a mentor that is successful in the area of expertice and then learn through their programs. This helps to reduce your learning curve and propels you to become successful very quickly.
Thank you for not reading this article or trying to understand what i was saying… and for that perfect example of a sound-bite
you coulda just read the bolded note at the bottom to get what i was talking about.
the trouble with skim reading. case in point.
have a nice day
…and keep it REAL.
Yes, it is all inside already. No need to go searching outside yourself.
You rock Alex!
XXX
You rock lynne.
for evar and evar
danky skatty
alex
Hey Alex
Still bit behind the times but getting there bro….
Like the angle you took in this post. Got one comment and one question.
While reading this post one word kept popping into my mind procrastination. What you think about the notion that the ‘infomation overload’ you describe as just a convoluted method of procrastination that, just appears to be better than straight up procrastination – instead of actually ‘getting out there’.
Incidently is the best way, me thinks, to assymilate personal development stuff – implementing it straight away in day to day life.
The question is how do you know when you just taking on more potentially useless infomation(defining un-implemented info as potentially useless) verse actually taking on worthy infomation you manage to put into use? and how do you keep track of which is which?
O well actually turned into 3 questions and a comment haha.
Interested to hear you thoughts on this…
Just
hey brav!
“appears to be better than straight up procrastination ”
- only because you’re getting approval and little ego sweets… cos you convince yourself that because you’re so busy, you must be actually getting things done. sometimes it can work, but usually not. to quote timmy ferriss, ask yourself “am i being productive or just active?”
to your question: i don’t think any info is useless… but some might help you more in your present situation. sometimes blind exposure to a whole bunch of things can be the best thing for you. but not all the time. focused, refined learning and immersion is def required – not all the time – but it’s required to get anything done proper. that laser focus yaddamean?! i generally immerse myself in things i’ve decided that i want or want to do and take the vague “throw at wall” approach every now and then to discover new interests and approaches. balance young skywalker. the which is which part is easy – just decide on what you want and laser focus on that and set aside time to do vague things or the “information overload” approach at other times. but keep the distinctions. you can make information overload stuff into focused things but don’t turn focused things into information overload times.
if you get what i’m sassen
keep well brrrah
a
Hey Alex
This is an AWESOME post. Exactly what I needed right now!
I’ve been a “shelf help guru
” for a long time now – without much luck. It’s easy to read things and quote things, and you’re right, one needs to take action to make the change.
Nadia
hey Naaaaadia!!
cool to see you ’round these parts
…and super glad you likes!!
“shelf help guru” TM
haha
it’s all ego hoo-ha bullsheyeet. makes you feel good for a while but actually bad for you. all illusions. whooooo.
take action… and want to be free more than you want everyone’s approval. i think that’s prolly it.
keep well nadia boo.
a