Just Getting By Bye: How to Kill Limiting Beliefs and Be Brilliant
Alex
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Just Getting By
There’s nothing that gives me the heebie-frikken-jeebies more than the thought of ‘just getting by’.
‘Just getting by’ – A numb way of life in which just enough is done to maintain a fragile reality of perceived limitation and ‘get by’, in which a person tells their dreams to stop dreaming and convinces themselves that they are fine with settling for boring mediocrity whilst secretly wishing that their life was more magic but too afraid to become a magician, accompanied by a belief that life is limited and that they cannot be rich or smart or free or happy or brilliant, and characterised by a greasy sheen of dullness in the eyes and a slight dragging of the feet.
It’s a way of life that many people have convinced themselves is perfectly acceptable.
And it is. ‘Just getting by’ is completely fine.
There’s nothing wrong with living a life that doesn’t read like the synopsis of a James Bond flick, lacking the perfume and purr of Aston Martinis and curvy creatures of love, no cartoon fireworks lighting up another adventure-soaked day in the life of a dream hero.
It’s fine. It’s fine to live a boring ‘normal’ life and go to dull work every day and ‘just get by’ as long as you choose that life because it’s what you want and not just because deep down you don’t think you can do any better and are hiding from your dreams for fear that you can’t wrangle them.
But if even the slightest part of you feels a tingly urge to live more and unleash!,
if you sense an urge to tickle life and make it scream in sweat-soaked ecstasy,
if you want to make your life better and more interesting and richer and more yum,
well then, pilgrim, buckle down and listen up…
Sneaky Little Bastards
Limiting beliefs are sneaky little bastards.
They lick their oily fur flat and tuck in their tails so that they can squeeze into shiny neon pixie costumes, sparkly glitter makeup and fairydust perfume hiding their noxious nature, and they fly and flitter their sneakily disguised asses around your shoulder like the fairies in Peter Pan, appearing very tame and well-intentioned and fairy-godmother-like, whispering sugarfrosted lies in your hoodwinked ear about how you can’t be brilliant and how the world is out to get you and there’s nothing you can do about it but settle for what you can get and play it safe and try to get by.
Meanwhile, back on Reality Ranch, the air was obliviously perky and crisp…
Limiting beliefs are just illusions that we’ve manufactured and collected from society’s nervous ramblings, the media and those around us who tell us that we can’t be great as a way of justifying their own bleh lives.
Beliefs such as ‘I’m not clever or handsome or sexy or fortunate or good enough to be great, I don’t have this or that special quality so I can’t make money and be happy and awesome.’
Icky beliefs that tinge the way you process reality such as ‘I suck and I have to fight and get angry and resist and close myself off and be tense and judge other people and myself – because I suck, remember – and I have to protect myself from the big bad world that’s out to get me!’
Resistance. Procrastination. Taming your dreams. Settling for what you can get. Trapped in insecurities. Talking to yourself like you’re a peasant. Fighting life. Accepting yuck. Ack!
Limiting beliefs are the walls that dam the flow of life. Pardon the punks.
They suck the oozingly delicious flavour out of life and throw you the bones to gnash your teeth on.
They’re the sand and dirt that gets stuck in the SillyPutty of your life,
they’re society’s greasy smudged fingerprints on the window of your consciousness,
they’re the filters through which you live and decide what’s possible,
and they’re the reason you’re not limitless, free, happy, at peace, and giddily successful.
So let’s rip off their disguises and get ready to kick some limiting belief ass.
Real Reasons About Fake Feelings
The first thing to know about limiting beliefs is that they’re disguised to make you think that they’re a normal part of reality. We’ll get to killing them in a second, but let’s bleed ‘em out a lil first.
You don’t procrastinate because you really think that you need to do a million little random tasks and make a cup of tea and browse the internet instead of writing or studying or getting work done, you procrastinate because you don’t think that you can do the work well or handle your success.
You don’t really believe the excuses you feed yourself about why you can’t go and talk to an attractive girl, you don’t really think that ‘she’s busy or might have a boyfriend’ are valid excuses to not talk to her, you’re actually shit scared that she might reject you or that she’d find out that you’re an insecure loser.
You don’t decide to sit around and watch T.V. and blob out because you’re ‘tired and need to relax’, you do it because deep down, you’re worried that you won’t be able to get up and make yourself successful and you’re scared you might fail so it’s easier to distract yourself and blur out.
These real reasons – the real reasons that you don’t live better and aren’t wildly successful – beneath the excuses and distractions, these are your limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs make you think that you’re not good enough and there isn’t enough and it’s not possible – and they breed internal conflict and make you numb and resist life because beneath the limiting beliefs, you know that you could do better.
Successful people don’t have these limiting beliefs. They either didn’t collect them growing up or proved to themselves that it is possible for them to be brilliant and showed themselves that the limiting beliefs aren’t real.
The reason why most people can’t write well, in my opinion, is that they’re too insecure about their ideas to be real and express their creativity and so they wind up reverting to robot speak and repackaged content. Similar thing applies to doing other things well too.
So the solution? Kill your limiting beliefs.
How to Kill Your Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are boundaries on your reality, they limit what you perceive as possible so killing them means destroying these boundaries.
You have to prove to yourself that the limiting beliefs that wall in your reality aren’t real.
Prove to yourself that it IS possible to be brilliant, it IS possible to do well in your studies and work, it IS possible to speak to a sexy girl and make her your girlfriend, it IS possible to be rich and brilliant and the BEST.
Some of you might know my background but a quick version is that I used to fail school, I was fat, useless, no girlfriend, no friends and no money. I really thought that I was stupid and couldn’t excel at school and sport and be successful. I thought that people who did well were different to me. “It’s not me to be smart, they have something that I don’t.” I was under pressure from my mom to get better grades at school so I started working. I started getting slightly better grades and that fuelled me to work harder. Soon I was getting As and I realised that I didn’t even need to work, it was KNOWING that I could do well that was making me dominate academically. I graduated with straight As when a year prior I was almost failing. Then I figured, “well, before, I thought I couldn’t do well at school, maybe there are other things that I thought I couldn’t do but actually I can like get a girlfriend and make money and be successful.”
You have to show yourself that your limiting beliefs are empty and pointless.
That’s the only way to kill limiting beliefs.
And yeah, it is really obvious. Obviously if you don’t think that you can do something then you should show yourself that you can do it and then you’re sorted. Yeah, but most of the problem is not being aware of the limiting beliefs to begin with.
When you catch your limiting beliefs kicking in, take action that’s gonna show you how stupid they are and that it’s possible for you to be brilliant.
It’s usually a ‘baby steps’ thing but doesn’t have to be. Work harder that you ever have just to prove to yourself that you can be more successful and get better grades or get more clients or a better response. Slug through the limiting belief’s seductive commentary about how you should just do nothing and ‘get by’ and get up and talk to that sexy girl or make a start on your project.
It’s a process where you slightly push past the boundary of what you deem possible. Then a little more. And a little more. Until you realise that the world of possibility is infinite and the walls that previously kept you in were illusions.
You start out and you have to take action and do things but once you’ve made a little progress and pushed past your initial perceptions of limitation, you start to become a person who naturally makes things happen because you love that feeling of expanding your reality and living life.
Magic begins to rush back into your life and a sparkle is reignited in your previously glazed eyes. No more ‘just getting by’. No more numb yuck bleh.
Kill your limiting beliefs and drag them bleeding through the streets.
That’s how you show yourself that life can be amazing and stop limiting yourself.
That’s how you cultivate a feeling that ‘it’s impossible for me to not do well at this.’
That’s how you become brilliant.
Unleash Reality
Alex
P.S. What would happen if a zen monk turned cartoonist read my mind
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Alex lives on the bottom tip of Africa where he rides lions into the sunset and raindances to the sound of the universe laughing...
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I love this post. The lessons that break down these briers start small but each one ads to the next until you have an avalanche of false notions tumbling down the hill berried under layers and layers of success.
Quinn!!
Super cool to see you ’round here.
def agree that more stuff comes up as you progressively let go of layers of limitation, but there comes a point where you realise how stupid the whole thing is – and then you stop taking the snow so seriously and start to play in it. the crazy stuff and limiting situations are somewhat unavoidable (stuff happens), but you stop seeing it as such a big deal and stop letting it limit you.
Avalanches come but they melt right through you and stop weighing you down.
keep it unreals quinn.
and supremo thank you for the comment.
a
Alex,
I really wish you would write more often:). You’ve really hit some great points about the evil nature of limiting beliefs. It really is amazing how they come disguised. I’ve been that down the road of some serious limiting beliefs, many related to dating and women. But, as I started to overcome small ones, one by one, I’ve started to knock them out of my reality. The key is realizing that they don’t serve you. The thing is that most people actually gain something from their limiting beliefs. Otherwise it would be easy to abandon them much more quickly.
It’s when you stop forcing change and stop resisting change, that it seems to flow naturally. AS has been said before about the word “try” it doesn’t really do any good because it sets you up for failure.
Srini-Starr-3000!!
Yeah. My schedule is crazy lately. got university lectures from 8AM to 6PM every day and almost done with that so gonna dominate and focus – which means less writing time. but also means that when i do write, it’s bubbling and sweating magic. i think it’s gonna be a good thing. just need to get into the rhythms of it and make sure i get some writing done every week.
limiting beliefs have more disguises than the star of a low-rate detective bromance. yuck. but beneath their disguises they’re just little bitches. so s’all good once you know they’re just disguised chodes
People only gain security or approval or control from their limiting beliefs. that’s only a gain if they see the world as limited. but it’s not. so on a bigger scale, it’s not a gain at all – it keeps them on the same rusty merry-go-round in a hell’s theme park.
stop forcing and resisting. exactly. let go of wanting to control it – that’s the reason its there. it’s funny cos you have to let go even of letting go. as long as you’re holding on at all, even if just so you can check when you let go, you keep yourself stuck.
mailed you about the skype interview. as i said, been swarmed with beginning of new university year so sorry for the delay.
keep it unreals mate
a
wow – fully hectic post!
people with limiting beliefs piss me off… but I cant blame them – I was once one of them (and still occasionally am – yes I piss myself off in those moments).
to me it was reading about people who had killed their own limiting beliefs that got me on the journey. case studies and autobiographies really helped.
I constantly find sneaky ones finding their way back in and have to tell em to shut the f up!
Vinay you LEGEND!!
hahaha. awwwsome comment
yip. i’m also really big on looking at other people who’ve made limiting beliefs their bitch and overcame ‘em. rappers are some of my biggest rolemodels. hustle hard yo
tell them to shut the f up and go eat a pogo stick. that’s what my great-grandma always used to say.
thanks for the comment mate.
keep it unreals yo
a
Sigh!!
Wow Alex,
You may have just changed my life! Nothing scares me more than mediocrity, but lately i’ve been thinking maybe its not such a bad place to be. I figured how many of us can actually be as great as we dream.
This post just pulled me out of what was undoubtedly a downward spiral. I’m saving and printing this!!
PS: I’m gonna have to pay you dividends when my fortune 500 company gets listed.
TonboooooOOoooooo!!
Awww shuxx. I’ll change your life anytime
haha
yeah. mediocrity is a bearded lady – fit for desperado losers but ack! if you’re not severely intoxicated and wear an eye-patch. bleh.
hope you realise that a written agreement is binding. ship those dividends prontolicious
keep it unreals tonboo
a
I found this post to be especially relatable. I’ve slowly been letting go of my own limiting beliefs but I’m not fully free yet. It’s a hard road for people so used to mediocrity but it feels SO good once you realize anything is possible. Love the blog, love the post, love the words. Brilliance. =)
Vanessalicious starry-eyed-raisin-bread-with-warm-butter-and-warmer-smiles
super glad it had an effect.
you always have a choice. ultimately it’s the choice to either live life or just get by. it’s not a “slowly letting go” thing unless you decide that it has to be. if you want it to take long, it’ll take long. but it’s just the mediocrity faffing around and being mediocre that wants to delay your explosion of awesomeness and the bright cavernous hustle within
thanks so much for the glistening words. means a lot
keep it unreals vanessa boo
a
Great writing mate, you really are gifted and you make me laugh!
Can I offer another option? Yeh well not sure why I asked cuz I’m going to anyway
ALL limiting beliefs have a positive intent ie to protect us. If we don’t acknowledge that first it’s exponentially tougher to get rid of them.
What is more likely to happen is we drive them further underground to appear at even more inopportune times.
Sometimes it’s best to cuddle them, to tell then they’re loved and gently point out other ways to achieve the same result. Then when they’re not looking take the baseball bat to them. Well ok, maybe not, but you get the gist, be kind to yourself.
All limiting beliefs and all self-talk are part of us, just as much as the side that likes to kick ass.
A minor quibble though mate, because it was a cool post.
Tim you LEGEND!!
thanks so much for the kind words. ’specially coming from a badass of such badassedness as yourself. makes me warm and tingly inside. makes my ego blush too.
i would feel short-unchanged if you didn’t leave an opinion or fresh perspective so permission hereby granted for all future comments evar!
not sure if i agree that limiting beliefs have a positive intent. well. they do but only on a limited level. their purpose is to make us feel secure and approved of and in control and safe… and sure, on a level, that is a positive intent. but it’s only positive intent insofar as there is positive intent in watching T.V. – sure you can learn something and relax and wa’eva, but there are much better ways to spend your time and the possibilities are limitless as their respective payoffs.
limiting beliefs protect a little skewed version of who you are. they reinforce your belief that you aren’t good enough and that there isn’t enough and that you suck. and yeah, they protect that cute little identity that you’ve built up for yourself, and that is positive on a level, but at the same time they limit you from being completely in the flow of life and limitless.
cuddling them and stroking their hair and licking their face passionately is def a path to seeing their triviality. but as long as the intent is to grow and not to tame them. you can’t tame them. it’s like trying to tame a rabid tiger. you can tame it for a little and it’ll look cute and match the decor but one day the tiger will get up and eat the shit outta you. it’s in the tiger’s nature. you can’t tame limiting beliefs, it’s in their nature to be yuck.
and yeah, it’s def a part of us. self-talk and limiting beliefs are a part of us. but they aren’t the entirety of who we are. watching a movie is part of our reality, but it isn’t the entire thing. watching a movie is great entertainment and can be positive, but getting caught up in it and limiting your reality to that tiny moviehouse and the screen and what’s playing is unhealthy and stops you from truly experiencing the limitlessness of life.
limiting beliefs cause you to live in a tiny little needy identity with wants and insecurities and needs. you can tame and come to terms with these insecurities, or you can realise that they’re pointless and trivial and let them go and be limitless.
bingo bango.
tingo tango.
glory times
thanks so much for the tweet and the comment mate. really appreciate it.
keep it unreals yo
a
Alex!
Your post was an amazing call to action for me. I’ve been slacking lately – complaining about fatigue. If I want the glory, I’m gonna have to step my game up. And that means killing limiting beliefs.
Taking action in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BLAST OFF!
I’m outta here, my friend. Time to convert energy to love and creativity.
Brett you lord of lords boss legend express beast of magic and glory and magic and glory and…
so glad it sparked some tingling YES to do something and dominate the universe.
it’s so easy to be brilliant. just take it.
own that shit proper.
keep it unreals mate
a
Yo Alex! Great one man. I think too that you really have to listen to your own heart, dig in to your own knowing and not allow anyone else to sidetrack you on the way to fulfilling your dreams. The culture, society, family and friends are generally very quick to admonish you to face reality every time there is even a gleam in your eye! Just listen to heartspeak and GO!
Trisha booo!!
def agree. i think limiting beliefs are what stop us from actually hearing our own heart. they make our heartspeak distorted and rippled, as though limiting beliefs are a puddle of dirty swamp liquid that makes our heartspeak distorted as though we’re speaking underwater.
like the glasses in your gravatar pic. not entirely sure why – perhaps because i’m typing this semi-naked while i eat cereal at 3AM on a friday night, alone, cuddling my cat and whispering the theme song to the 80s rite-of-passage cult classic “Stand By Me” – but your pic makes me think of what would have happened if MacGuver was played by Tweetie-Bird instead of some badass white guy. hmmm…
keep it unreals yo trishsky boo
always and always
a
Wow Alex!
You are unleashing the awesomeness more and more with each post you publish! Spot on, insightful, made me laugh and love the wackiness! LOVE the sneaky little bastards analogy … “They lick their oily fur flat and tuck in their tails so that they can squeeze into shiny neon pixie costumes, sparkly glitter makeup and fairydust perfume … ” I had such a great mental image! and so spot on too … that’s exactly what limiting beliefs are like!
JennyBoooOOooo!! … i see yooooou!!
every time i read your comments, little cartoon birds swoon and hold hands and get dizzy above my head… and music is playing, nice music, classical or something. beautiful.
the wackiness loves you jen. i should hook you two up. you’d really get along. make the wackiness pay for dinner though, last time i set it up on a blind date, it ducked to Tijuana to become the buzzer at a discount whorehouse before eloping with the star performer of the entire joint. yikes.
always inspired to create mental images jenzo. always
interview was magic. questions really got me thinking. super excited.
keep it unreals yo
a
Alex!!!!
How are you doing man? It’s been a while
Loved the post, it’s a creative bubble and magical infusion of glory and sun soaked words of wisdom (Ahh, I’m learning)hehe.
Sometimes I have my doubts if you are not tripping on something when you write these articles, but I guess a good writer never reveals his secrets of success.
Leaving paris today with Glen!
Be back in CT before you know it.
Toodelooh
Diggggggy!!
haha. comment made me burst out laughing a fake Garshwinesque laugh – the kind that’d pop out when he bust a dave deangelo line that nobody laughed at and pretend that he was ’sending’ to the wooing girls. yikes
no comment on the origins of magic… but your shot was power – amsterdam did you good
my secret to writing is to own your ideas and personality and not try to speak like a robot and use other people’s ideas just because you don’t feel yours are good enough. that’s pretty much it
super keen to jam at some point.
keep it unreals yo
a
That’s a great AND VALUABLE post Alex!
The tricky thing sometimes, about limiting beliefs is that you don’t really know they are “limiting” until you stop having them … but then how do you know they are limiting? I hope this is not in itself a limiting belief.
Anyway ANYTHING THAT “HOLDS YOU BACK” IS A LIMITING BELIEF.
Thanks for the PUSH and the ENERGY in this post!!
Christopher you legend!!
Love your comments mate. can feel your authenticity and integrity oozing through your words. really inspiring
yip. know all about that tricky thing. to know it’s a limiting belief, ask yourself you are in ease and in the flow of life. if not, there are limiting beliefs: challenge them until there is ease and flow.
thanks so much for stopping by mate. always means a lot.
keep it unreals
a
Wow! Your writing is “soaked” in creative energy…great visuals…this makes it very effective and memorable! Wondering if phrases like society’s nervous ramblings, walls that dam the flow of life, society’s greasy smudged fingerprints on the window of your consciousness just flow out or if you play around with the words and tap it out. Here’s to acknowledging, visualizing and killing limiting beliefs!
Rock on Alex
Sheila BooooOOOOoooo!!
really really loved the cartoon
- posted a link at the end of this article.
my creative process is an interesting won. might write about it some time soon. considering using an ice-cream parlor of dreams as a metaphor for the whole thing or maybe use that for something else entirely. most of it is flow but it helps to get your mind to think in unusual ways by systematically considering interesting images and contrasts and comparisons such as edible flowers and breakdancing butterflies
here’s to owning the internet
a
Hey Alex
This is an awesome post and beautifully written – I love it!
Limiting beliefs are nasty little creatures, indeed. Especially because, as you say, we think they’re for real. I love the process you explain for pushing past them and figuring that they’re really just figments of our imagination.
Thanks so much!
Hey Christine you little strumpet of magic you
thank you so much for the kind words. making my ego blush. aww shuxx
your site looks really interesting. taking a squizz around now. will drop a comment+stumble that side.
Keep it unreals Christine!
a
I loved this. Engagin, useful and very readable. I will ReTweet. Thanks.
Hey Phil!!
thanks for dropping by and for the tweet
keep it unreals yo!!
a
Alex,
Hot diggity dog. You’ve captured my deep blue funk, mate. I know what to do, I know I have to work hard to off the little bastards. I guess I needed to hear a little wisdom about how to do that. Of course, the wisdom would arise here.
This is me, getting to work.
Cheers
George
Love your writing. Thanks for the kick in the arse and I love your baseball bat approach! You rock!
I think one of the biggest ‘hurdles’ to overcome in attempting to pursue one’s dreams is not to be scared of being pushed out of one’s comfort zone/ ’safe’ routine of predictability, i.e. to be ok with the possibility of things going wrong
can’t wait until tmw*
Limiting beliefs *sigh* they are an unnecessarily painful affliction. They get in the way so often and tragically we usually not even aware of their existence.
Are there not alternate (albeit not as powerful) ways to get most of them handled, I definitely agree they need to be challenged. However I think there are easier ways of challenging them, for instance by being aware and fully present with them – and then perhaps even repeating them out aloud, they often just fizzle out and are gone forever once you hear how trivial, stupid and silly they in fact are.
Just a thought…
Was really awesome jamming last night [even if you were a little cranky
]
Just
For those of us that have let comfort and security become like a blanket, it becomes increasingly difficult to change thought patterns. There is hope, provided you choose to act rather lament the things coulda shoulda woulda.
This piece has a particular relevance for me as it reaffirms my current move to step out of the bubble and into the esoteric light.
Change begins with a decision, a silent affirmation and belief that things are different.
I have choosen a crazy adventure, perhaps you will choose yours and change your destiny.
Great post Alex,
Another one is hearing people say ‘I can’t wait to get married and settle down’ Settle down?? What a truly limiting belief that is that we need to settle down as we get older. I don’t know about anyone else but I intend to speed up and do more!!
This article has definitely woken me up to some of my own limiting beliefs. We must always live consciously and be aware of the things holding us back: beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, and actions all included.
I am aware of my limiting beliefs, and while I still believe some of them I am learning to accept them and stop fighting them. I think that’s an important step. Otherwise, it is simply about experiencing different sittutions and allowing different things about yourself to be revealed.
thanks for the article. always good stuff
Just getting by scares me too. In fact i use this fear as a motivator. Thankfully I’ve been on a roll lately and any limiting beliefs I had are mere laughing matter.
Very well said Alex, and although initially easier said than done, squashing limiting beliefs is something we can all do. I’m by no means perfect myself, but it’s hard to not feel an aura of confidence when we accomplish something we didn’t think we could do. It’s almost as if the entire following week you feel like a new, stronger person. If you make such a practice routine, then EVERYDAY you can feel like this; feel like you have all the confidence in the world riding on your shoulders. It’s certainly a nice place to be, and one that helps us excel in the places we really want to.
Illuminating. Now the pesky things have a name so I hunt them down. Thanks for the stalking tip!