I don’t want everybody to like me.
I don’t …because there’s no way to be real and have everybody like you.
When you’re true to yourself and do what you want, some people are bound to get pissed off.
Comes down to the good ‘ol maxim, “if you try to please everybody, you please nobody”.
Sure, some people will get jealous and others will have their own latent issues – didn’t get enough hugs as a kid or whatever – but the real reason is more subtle.
Way more subtle.
And it’s not them. It’s you.
Why Trying to Please People Sucks
See, the issue isn’t the ‘please everybody’ part.
The real issue comes right before that. The ‘try’ part.
When you’re trying to please other people. When you’re trying to make people like you. When you’re reacting to others… you’re not staying true to yourself.
You’re not being real.
And people can feel that. And it gives them the frikken heebie-jeebies.
When do you try to make people like you? When you want something from them.
And trying to make people like you doesn’t just mean supplicating – ya know, buying them stuff, trying to impress and doing what they want.
Trying to make people like you goes deeper than that.
Every time you don’t do what you want. Every time you don’t do what you feel. Every time you censor that inner awesome… you’re living for others instead of yourself.
Sure, you might get some validation but deep down, way deep down, beyond all your bullshit excuses and rationalisations, deeper than the need for approval and control and all that stuff, deep deep deep down, you know that you’re not being real and you’re not being true to yourself.
Hate Me or Love Me
So… what to do… oh what to do?
Stay true to yourself and do what you want.
You’ve heard the whole approval spiel. You know that nobody can complete you. You’re complete already. You’ve read the Eckhart Tolle doctrines, you’re on a mental first-name basis with the personal development gurus and you understand the whole thing…
But… and it’s a big but, you can’t try to be real. You can’t try to be true to yourself. That’s just more living for others.
Being real is effortless.
Live for you – for that raw delicious fuzzy feeling of total immersion in life that you get whenever you completely live for you, diving into the stream of life.
Delve deeper, beyond the litany of filters and self-suppressions and be real.
When it comes time to do something, don’t ask yourself “what should I do”, rather ask “what do I want to do?”
And do what you want.
Say what you want.
Be what you want.
Express yourself fully.
Listen to your inner being.
Stay true to yourself.
Sure, some people won’t like it. And others will.
Some people will hate on you. Others will love you. And that’s fine.
Thing is: there’s no reason to want everybody to like you. Do what you want and let whatever happens happen. Some people will love you. Others will hate you. That’s fine.
Real interactions, real connections instead of trying to please everybody.
…and you won’t have that background sense of regret. The regret of not living.
Because every time you don’t do what you want, every time you censor your inner being, a part of you dims inside.
Every time you doubt yourself and don’t do what your heart so desperately urges you to do, you become more numb. Desensitised. Robotic. Lifeless. That magical twinkle in your eye dims and you settle.
You settle for mediocrity and passivity, a diluted existence instead of raw delicious immersion in life.
A quick clarification to avoid mass obnoxiousness…
Doing what you want doesn’t mean being a *insert rude expletive of choice*.
…because being mean, being obnoxious, being rude, being selfish – all those nasty things that might be confused with “doing what you want” – are just convenient misinterpretations.
Doing what you want in order to get approval isn’t really doing what you want. It’s buying into other people’s story. Same thing goes for trying to control other people. For trying to be superior.
“I don’t want everyone to like me” is vastly different to “I want everyone to not like me”.
Indifference and contentedness is vastly different to living in reaction, living for others.
This is about staying true to yourself.
Listen to your core instead of the voice in your head that sometimes tells you to wrong others and be a badass – your core that is deeper than that – it’s the space that hears that little voice and knows that it’s just an elaborate fiction.
It’s easy to see the “do what you want” as a selfish attitude but when you really do what you want, when you live from your deepest inner being, you’re tapping into and accessing the source of all compassion. When you are true to yourself and connect to your deepest being, you see the humanity in everybody and experience life itself, and express and share that with all around you.
Being Real is connecting to and expressing your deep desire to live.
Unsuppressed. Undiluted. Pure yum bliss life. Expressed through true right action, true self expression.
Why Be Real: Do What You Want, Feel Great and Live More
The most obvious benefit of being real and true to yourself is that you get to do what you want.
That in itself is one of the greatest feelings evar.
But there are other supercool benefits too.
People are magnetically drawn to those who are true to themselves – to those who have a voice – their own voice. People like Tim Ferriss, Jonathan Mead, Tim Brownson, Lisis Blackston, Chris Guillebeau, Glen Allsopp, Seth Godin and the infamous Tucker Max.
People see that you’re not trying to make them like you and they see you unleashed, living for you… and they want to be a part of that.
Sure, trying to please everybody might get you a big audience, but being real and truly expressing who you are, doing what you want and staying true to yourself will make people who you really relate to stick around.
The right audience is way more valuable than a big audience.
More than anything though: when you stay true to yourself and be real, you feel great.
And you live more.
No more censoring who you are.
No more reaction and approval seeking.
No more self doubt or anxiety.
No more yuck fake communication.
No more living for others.
…just pure undiluted genuine authentically unapologetic real raw expression.
Do what you want and Be Real.
Stay true to yourself.
Links to this article from other sites
- Goodness in the blogosphere… | What My World's Like
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- Interview with Alex of Unleash Reality | A Boundless World
- “Some people will hate on you. Others will love you. And that’s fine.” | Black Angels NYC